wiggle-bacon
Does anyone here have an Uncle Derick?
I once sniffed coke, but the ice cube got stuck up my nose.
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought????...)
========================
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
========================
On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
========================
On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???...)
'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought????...)
========================
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
========================
On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
========================
On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???...)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
====================
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)
====================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
====================
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)
====================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)
========================
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness..'
(..I'm taking this because???.....)
========================
On a Japanese food processor --
'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this.)
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)
========================
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness..'
(..I'm taking this because???.....)
========================
On a Japanese food processor --
'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this.)

















































